July 29, 2025

 Forgiveness

Happy Tuesday! 

Chapter 3 & 4 

Love & The Brain

    Researchers have discovered the beautiful relationship between the brain and love. Most people believe that when it comes to love they are dealing with the "heart." Maybe because it is something you can feel. But according to some scientific research it not the heart but it is the brain at work. Think about it. When we fall in love, we feel knots in the stomachs, anxiety, an increased heart rate, and a roller coaster ride of emotions. Even though these things happen in the body we tend to believe it is the heart. However, love is 20% feelings and 80% logic. I love Steve Harvey's book, "Act like a Lady Think like a Man." Men and women love differently and he encourages women to think like a man when dating. My experience tells me to not follow my fleeting emotions but mix it with good judgement. Emotions leave and the reality is love does not happen immediately despite all the feelings we are having when we meet someone we like. 

    If your idea of love is based up the idea of the heart it will be unstable and a questionable love. But if it is based upon the idea of the brain we can love and make intelligent decisions about how we treat others as well as how we want to be treated. 

    Research reveals much about brain chemistry. Doctors looked at the brain chemistry of young people who confessed to have butterflies in their stomach when they came into contact with the person they felt like they were in love with. The young people agreed to complete a brain scan; and the brain scan revealed that the individuals brain responded when they focused on the object of their affection; and during this time a whole host of parts of the brain begin to light up. The doctors found that the brain was experiencing changes. Do you think those changes we feel (not with heart) but with the brain can sometimes block our common sense at times. I know people who have had failed marriages or other relationships could agree with me. Not all people make those mistakes but some of us have followed our emotions instead of common sense.

    The areas in the brain associated with dopamine and production parts of the brain lit up and this supported the hypothesis that just like chocolate love is addictive and the fact that love causes our brain to light up and fire off especially as begin to think about that special person. 

    When it comes to marriage researchers have discovered that couples who idealized each other have the potential to remain happy for a long time. Oxytocin is called the love hormone, and it is released in humans and animals during bonding. It is important to maintain the bond as well as protect it. 

    Some other cool things to remember is the chemicals released in the brain and that is why we feel like we are in love. Research has discovered some distinctions between men and women when it comes to sex, love, and the brain. Doctors have discovered that men have a sexual pursuit area that is 2.5 times larger the one in the female brain. Surprisingly the male brain has stronger emotional reactions than the female brain, but research reveals that within seconds of the male having the emotion they are able to change it within two to five seconds. If we think about women sometimes it takes us longer to change our emotions. In summary those things in the brain can be beautiful but we need to love intelligently. What do I mean. Love on purpose. It is not loving with feelings but loving with logic. It is more about what you know and less about what you feel.